Cronulla Beach

When I set foot on the 5th Beach of Christmas, it was if I was stepping onto the set of ‘Puberty Blues’, the mini series set that recently aired in Australia on Channel 10.

Puberty Blues, a show about growing up Aussie style…Cronulla Beach providing the necessary ingredients for the main characters to be able to navigate their way through the tumultuous teen years…surf, sand and the opportunity for teenage sex.

Upon arrival to the beach, in the distance I am certain I heard the series director shout ‘She’s here….ACTION’

And sure enough….on cue, teenage behaviour was in full swing…it seemed everyone aged between 13 and 18 was on HEAT!!

Packs of teenage boys, clowning around, making as much ‘manly noise’ as possible in the direction of groups of teenage girls, in barely there bikini.

Groups of teenage girls, laughing and giggly…swapping hot gossip from the previous day …who looked good, who looked not so good, who was going with who and the like….And then their was me…. a mere observer, yet I realised I was to pay a  crucial role…the director of the mini series had held of filming till my surf side arrival!

I took my role of narrator seriously…and offered up socially commentary, my lines were well rehearsed.

‘Boy in the blue shorts, yes you, your pants need to be pulled up closer to your waistline…the girl in the red bikini that you have been ogling does NOT find the look attractive!!’

‘Girl in the white bikini, if you took your ear phones out of your ears you might notice that the boy standing 5 metres to your right, yes him with the surfboard, is ‘attempting’ to serenade you a One Direction Song….its worth a listen, if not a laugh!!

Cronulla Beach

Cronulla Beach

Filming wrapped quickly, they were only re-recording a few scenes…and I was glad as I really wanted to go for a swim.

But as I swam in the ocean, diving beneath wave after wave, I felt I tinge of sadness…for Cronulla Beach was brimming with youth, beautiful girls and boys without a care in the world except whether they could scrap together enough small change for some hot chips for lunch…

Their world seemed bright and full of adolescent hope for the future. My adult brain was laden down with worry, and I kept having to adjust my bikini after emerging from each wave ( things don’t always stay up when you are old!!)

To top it all off I had a car full of Christmas left over’s ( ham and pork with crackling) heating up some streets away!!

I did not belong on the sand, in the surf with the teenagers…for I had too many concerns, to many inhibitions….Thankfully the director of Puberty Blues had called it a day, and I was free to go…I collected my pay cheque and high tailed it out of there!

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