The month that got away…January 2013

It would appear that I slept for an entire month…January 2013…where exactly did you go? Or more to the point, what was I doing for the first 31 days of the New Year?

January 2013

Oh, that’s right…I was wishing myself far from the reality I was facing…I wanted that elusive thing we all want from time to time….CHANGE…not in relation to the small stuff ie a different bowl of breakfast cereal or a new pair of shoes….No I was after the BIG KAHUNA of CHANGE…new job, new home, new life partner ( or in any case, just a partner)…and I wanted it all in the click of an instant….a McDonalds Happy Meal approach to life….I was certain it was MY TIME…January, 2013 was going to be my month, where my new life began, where I parted with the old me and debut the new and much improved version of Catch up with a Mate Kate.

Yet something got in the way…it is called February!!

And with the start of a new month, an awareness that this process of change I so long for, crave to the point of obsession, needs to be tended to in a caring and loving manner. I have to be gentle with myself as I tread the path towards ‘greatness’ . I cannot set myself deadlines, I have to accept that this is a process from which I will learn and grow…one which I hope bring about the changes I so desire in an organic fashion.

I have to also accept the possibility that it won’t ( how adult of me!!)

It can also be said that it would not be fair to ignore feelings of restlessness….they are present for a reason and I intend to pay them the respect they deserve…But January has come and gone…and I listen I did…I listened so intently that I felt overwhelmed by a sense of helplessness, I felt powerless to change even the smallest aspect of my life…

No doubt the coming days, months,even years will be coloured by my desire for change…I will have ups and downs..with setbacks revealing new truths about life’s  possibilies….I have realised that the ideal career, partner, friend or home life cannot be presented to me on a platter….whilst it might be nice, it would not be satisfying…as the saying goes...’ Its not the destination, but the journey that is the reward’ or said more poetically, in the book I am currently reading, The Life of Pi ‘ To look out with idle hope is tantamount to dreaming one’s life away’I have to actively be part of the change process…there are no iffs or buts about it!!

Yes, January, the month that got away…February, the month in which I emerge from the shadows, feeling lighter, less weigh down by the enormity of the challenge I have set myself for 2013…happy to admit that I am in this for the long haul…change is on horizon, if I squint my eyes, I can just about see it.

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2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Suz&Fang
    Feb 08, 2013 @ 04:37:30

    Oh Laaaydee! BIG YEAR for you! When I read the summary on FB I was upset that ‘cat’ was mentioned at the end of all things new. Is Flora okay? You two still partners in crime?
    As for January, I too have had a similar experience. I lost mine. Totally. Only just put up my calendar on the wall this week, haven’t started my diary yet, nor any of my resolutions – in fact: I cannot remember what resolutions I made.
    February – regroup and replan. Back to the drawing board! Oh, that’s right – drawing was going to be one of my resolutions…

    Reply

    • Catch Up With A Mate
      Feb 08, 2013 @ 04:39:54

      Forever partners in crime….Flora is fine…in my January haze I jus wanted to reinvent her, along with EVERYTHING else (but she trule is purrfect!!) Heres to a great 2013 Suz…we owe it to ourselves to embrace whatever comes our way xx

      Reply

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