Five Sentence Fiction : Whisper

Word prompt : Whisper

‘ Can you hear him?’ whispered Jack to his sister Juliette ‘ He’s here, he is REALLY here!!’

Juliette smiled her all-knowing smile, at 11 years of age she no longer believed in Santa Claus, but Jack on the other hand….

She lowered her head over the side of the top bunk bed and peered into the sleeping quarters of her little brother, wide-eyed and awake despite the fact it was nearing midnight.

‘ Exciting isn’t it!’ she said as Jack did his best to contain his excitement by rearranging the bed linen for the hundredth time that evening.

Out in the living room, ‘ Santa Claus’ placed beautifully wrapped presents under the Christmas tree for Jack and Juliette, filled the children’s Santa stockings with sweets, before retiring to the kitchen to stack the dishwasher and set the breakfast table.

11 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Lizzie Koch (@lizzie_loodles)
    Mar 10, 2013 @ 15:20:42

    I love this! A moment of innocence and excitement on Christmas Eve. What a lovely way to use the prompt. And well done big sis for not blowing the secret. . . .


  2. Marie O'Halloran
    Mar 10, 2013 @ 15:29:22

    What a beautiful story. Really enjoyed this.


  3. injaynesworld
    Mar 10, 2013 @ 15:59:12

    More than anything I liked the loving relationship between big sis and little brother. And the ending — what a charming piece and wonderful use of the prompt. I enjoyed this very much.


  4. ahblack57
    Mar 11, 2013 @ 13:03:20

    ah to be the young, trusting and full of wonder. It is a shame we lose all that as we grow more “mature.” Great piece.


  5. McGuffy Ann
    Mar 11, 2013 @ 14:32:30

    A very sweet story. I really enjoyed this.


  6. Josie Two Shoes
    Mar 12, 2013 @ 02:29:17

    The magic of believing and of having someone to share that with… wonderfully told! And yes, poor Santa who is tired, and broke, and still has dishes to do, but will be up and smiling in the morning to see little eyes sparkling with delight!


  7. Fangs' Human
    Mar 12, 2013 @ 03:46:28

    Laaydee, you have SUCH a way with words! This is beautiful – heartwarming and real.


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