Temporary Holding Zone

I am stuck
Literally- locked in, caged, wings clipped.
I close my eyes, my ears prick at the suggestion of footsteps in the room.
I imagine them walking with purpose towards me, a key chain rustles
With great precision, they prise open the cage door
I taste, smell, touch and see freedom- happy tears flow.

But the cage is a self imposed one, it has no physicality
There are forces holding me back that I cannot articulate.
It is an inner state of turmoil.
Outwardly, this is evident in my behaviour
I am irritable, on edge and tired.

I am stuck but I know it won’t be forever
For the first time in a long time, I accept the situation for what it is and know it will pass
Each day I edge closer to a new beginning
As I wait it out, it is important to the search and find a silver lining in every situation
All those beautiful shiny lids on the ground, sparkling just for me.

Beautiful Shiny Lids

A self-diagnosed trouble maker
She loved that – and was proud to think he knew himself that well

Gold dust, glitter, sparklers and beautiful shiny lids
Head in the cloud, heart a flutter, day dreaming a future
Time floating overhead represented her past.

And now?

A cup of instant coffee, sunshine and Donald Trump had her grounded.
Though it was easy to loose herself in lofty thoughts….she knew better.

Reality was a bitch, but the effort required to stay present was liberating.
Human interaction, a conversation, sharing of ideas, a smile, a hand shake, a hug.

She loved the ‘ shiny lid’ outlook recently acquired.
Happiness could be found in the mundane and the sublimely beautiful.

As long as she remained present, grounded, with two feet firmly on the ground.

Baby, Baby, Baby – NO!

It was the phone call you hope never to receive.

That voice down the line, words that are incomprehensible.

A question is going to be asked and your mind races- who, where, when, what, why?

You brace yourself for what is about to come, body tense, belly full of the air.

‘ Do you want to go to the Justin Bieber concert with Mae & I?’

Exhale. Shrieks of laughter & all over body shakes.

‘ Well, do you?’

You come too and your best friend has failed to interpret your snorts of nervous energy & high pitched squealing as a valid response.

‘ No’ I announce down the line ‘ And I think Mae is a bit young at 5 to see Bieber- he is a bit R rated of late’

‘What to you mean?’

My bestie had no idea and I don’t hold it against her. I am silent.

‘So not a good idea?’

‘ No’ I say & for the first time ever I feel I have acted as a fairy godmother should – responsibly!! I have prevented beautiful Mae childhoods from being high-jacked, propelled forward at the speed of light to adulthood.

Take it from me lovely Mae, stay 5 forever!!

Or in the words of our modern day maestro Bieber ‘ Baby, baby, baby, no!’

Aftermath – follow up call to bestie & Ms Mae. I am a kill joy & Mae is sad & disappointed. Bestie had told her daughter ‘ Kate does not want you to go to concert’ – can you imagine!!
Bestie did look up recommended age for said concert – 15 +

Proudest Fairy Godmother moment to date

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